Beyond Toughness: The Realities of Sensitivity in Masculine Socialization
This month, we feature the groundbreaking research of Dr. Daniel C. Miller and Dr. Martin F. Lynch, whose work delves into the unique challenges and experiences of highly sensitive men. Published in our flagship journal, Psychology of Men & Masculinities, their study investigates how these men navigate their identity against the backdrop of dominant masculine norms that often conflict with their innate traits. In our discussion, Dr. Miller, inspired by his own journey as a highly sensitive man, emphasizes the urgent need for societal recognition and support to nurture the well-being of sensitive individuals.
Miller, D. C., & Lynch, M. F. (2024). The gender socialization experiences of highly sensitive men. Psychology of Men & Masculinities, 25(2), 203–212. https://doi.org/10.1037/men0000463
What were the key questions you were addressing in this article?
We were primarily interested in exploring the intersectional lived experiences of American men with a form of neurodivergence called high sensory-processing sensitivity, more commonly referred to as highly sensitive men. Previous research has shown about 20-30% of the population possess high sensory-processing sensitivity, which results in a unique set of temperamental characteristics including increased depth of cognitive processing, lower threshold for overstimulation, increased empathy and emotional responsiveness, and increased sensitivity to subtleties in their social and physical environments. Many of these temperamental characteristics are in conflict with dominant hegemonic masculine ideology suggesting that men should be emotionally stoic, competitive, and dominating. Given that discrepancy, we were interested in exploring how highly sensitive men navigate their identity as highly sensitive men in a cultural context that devalues their sensitive traits. Specifically, we were led by the questions "How do highly sensitive men experience masculine socialization?" as well as "What does the highly sensitive identity mean to highly sensitive men?"
What were the main conclusions of your article?
Through our qualitative analysis, four common themes emerged in the experiences of highly sensitive men:
Gender role conflict: Highly sensitive men in our study expressed a felt devaluation of their sensitivity by themselves as well as those around them. This is often manifested as internalized pressure to adhere to traditional masculine norms and restrictions on their interests and behavior. Many men in the study had the sense that they were not living up to society's expectations of them as men. Regardless of sexual identity, many men in the study expressed being recipients of homophobic bullying, teasing, or violence due to their sensitivity to being perceived as homosexual.
Negative self-evaluation and mental health concerns: Highly sensitive men in the study reported an overall negative perception of themselves and their ability to succeed and live up to others' gendered expectations of them. For many in the study, this resulted in a host of mental health concerns, including depression, anxiety, and substance abuse, among others. Negative self-evaluation and mental health concerns frequently emerged in adolescence and early adulthood and participants expressed feeling the most pressure to adhere to masculine norms that felt inauthentic to their personality and values.
Sensitive intersection with race and ethnicity: For men of color in the study, the intersection of their high sensitivity with their racial and ethnic identities compounded gender role conflict and negative self-evaluation due to the additional burden of masculine ideology from their own culture, as well as the influence of racism on others' perceptions and stereotypes of them as men of their particular race.
Sensitive code-switching: One of the most unique findings from our study was the ways in which highly sensitive men attempted to protect themselves from the above concerns. One of the primary ways of doing so was something dubbed by one of our participants as "sensitive code switching." For participants in the study, sensitive code switching often involved changing their tone of voice, body posture, interests, and withholding emotional responses in environments that they feared would not be emotionally or psychologically safe for their natural temperament. Environments where sensitive code switching was most prevalent were male-dominated, heteronormative spaces. Because of this, many of the participants reported a sense of loneliness and isolation, having difficulty forming connections in these spaces.
What are the key implications of your article for research, policy, or practice?
Our findings suggest that high sensory-processing sensitivity is a relevant and important factor influencing the social and emotional development of boys and men. They suggest that highly sensitive boys and men face unique developmental and social challenges that are directly related to their sensitivity, and which can result in a host of mental health concerns. This appears to be especially true for highly sensitive men of color. These findings imply that psychotherapists, educators, and other helpers would benefit from knowledge of the highly sensitive trait in order to help highly sensitive boys and men navigate their social experiences and mental health concerns.
Where do you see this line of research heading in the future (i.e., what's next)?
I think in the future, more inquiry into the contexts and environments that allow highly sensitive boys and men to flourish would be helpful in guiding treatment planning and intervention for this population. Additionally, more inquiry into the intersections of race and ethnicity with sensitivity is needed to gain a more holistic picture of how these intersectional identities are marginalized or empowered in our society.
How did you become interested in this line of inquiry?
I became interested in this research due to my own personal experiences as a highly sensitive man. When I learned about the concept of high sensory-processing sensitivity in graduate school, it felt as if I finally had a name for many of the traits and experiences I had growing up that caused me great difficulty in a rural, conservative, and traditionally masculine environment. My hope in doing this research is that it would illuminate some of the unique experiences of highly sensitive men, as well as provide further education on this trait that is often misunderstood or not even known about. There are many wonderful qualities to being highly sensitive regardless of gender, however, these qualities are under-valued in highly sensitive men due to the dominating discourse around what it means to be the ideal man in our society.
Daniel Miller, Ph.D., LMHC, NCC
(he/they)
Assistant Professor
Department of Counseling & Psychological Services
Co-Faculty Advisor, Chi Sigma Iota- Sigma Nu Chi
SUNY Oswego
307 Wilber Hall, Oswego, NY 13126
